Category: Mind

cravings, temptations, + appetite challenges

cravings, temptations, + appetite challenges

Posted on by Clarissa Thomas

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A PreMenstrual Disorder Perspective Podcast to help women know that health is personal and possible. Like, share, and subscribe for more. @adagiofit on IG

***Note: these thoughts are in no way to replace your physician. If you have questions, please consult your doctor and professionals for direction before you make any changes in your health. I am not a doctor, just a coach. Also, these podcast may contain information that is sensitive in nature and might be triggering. Please listen with caution. Thank you.***

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Cravings, temptation, and an appetite that just won’t seem to go away. These are some of the biggest struggles people have when going through premenstrual disorders.

Broadly speaking, people know which foods are fairly healthy, and which aren’t so healthy. And, when dieting, these people want to lose weight; that’s the reason they’re dieting, after all.

So, they know what they want to achieve, and roughly know which foods they should be eating. So why are long term success rates so low?

It’s because cravings, temptation, and your appetite eventually wear you down. Once the initial motivation you had begins to wane, it becomes harder to resist these. Your brain doesn’t want you to lose weight.

In an evolutionary sense, food was scarce. So, a drive to eat meant greater chances of survival and therefore passing on your genes. The difference now is that food is not scarce. In fact, it’s abundant. We are surrounded by high-calorie, high-reward food, but we still have a brain geared towards survival in a very different environment. This mismatch is a key reason why dieting is so hard.

Remove temptation from your environment

Clear out tempting foods, don’t keep them in the house. If it’s out of sight, it’s out of mind. If this isn’t feasible because you live with others and they won’t accept you throwing out the junk, then hide tempting foods instead. Keep them in separate cupboards, away from the ones you usually use. Keep them in opaque containers so you can’t see them. It’s amazing how small changes like this can have a big impact on our behavior.

You want to make it harder to eat unhealthy foods. Our brain wants to minimize effort, so increase the effort it takes to make poor choices. For example, having to go to the shops to buy a chocolate bar is a lot more effort than just picking it out of the snack drawer.

Willpower is like a muscle, you can only use it a certain amount of times before it’s weakened. So, don’t rely on willpower. Instead, alter your environment so you don’t need to use willpower every time you enter the kitchen.

Create an environment that supports your goals, not one that sabotages them.

2. Separate eating from other activities

Eat at the dinner table. Don’t eat while watching the TV, or while scrolling through your phone. You want to minimize distractions that take you away from the experience of eating.

Eat slowly. Separating eating from other activities will naturally allow you to slow down, focus on your food, and be more mindful when eating. You will feel more full and satisfied after eating in this way.

If you stop eating while watching the TV, for example, your brain stops associating food with these activities. If you’re used to watching TV in the evening with a few biscuits, you’ll find you start to think about biscuits when you sit down in front of the TV. Your brain has learned that evening TV = biscuit time and will urge you, through cravings, to continue this habit.

If you separate these activities, your brain stops associating them. If you have a rule that you don’t eat in front of the TV, the effort required to get a snack and sit at the table without your phone or TV means you’re unlikely to do it unless you’re truly hungry. 

Again, it comes down to increasing the effort required to make poor dietary choices.

3. Stop snacking

Controversial, right? You don’t have to stop it completely, but I would recommend focusing on full meals first and foremost.

Snacking throughout the day, without having full meals, can lead to what I call the Not-Quite Cycle™. This is when you spend your whole day being not-quite hungry between meals, and not-quite satisfied after meals. This sucks.

Snack foods are typically easy to over eat and don’t fill you up. Think crisps, sweets, chocolate and other processed, packaged snack foods. You’d be better off saving these calories for a filling, nutritious meal.

If you do snack, choose things like fruit and plain yoghurt. These are minimally-processed, highly satiating, and therefore hard to overeat.

4. Limit hyper-palatable foods

Hyper-palatable just means tasty and easy to overeat. A combination of fat/salt/sugar is often what makes foods hyper-palatable. These types of food rarely occur naturally, and so are often highly-processed and calorie-dense.

Your brain get familiar with these tastes and that’s how cravings develop. Even protein bars, fiber one bars, and other ‘low calorie’ or ‘healthy’ snacks would still fall into this category. That’s not at all to say you can’t include them in your diet. But, if you’re someone who struggles with your appetite and cravings, it may be wise to forego them.

5. Prioritize high satiety, minimally-processed whole foods

These are foods like fruits, vegetables, lean meats, potatoes, fish, eggs, wholegrains, beans and legumes, oats, and plain yoghurt.

These foods are hard to overeat. They are often less-calorie dense, higher protein, and higher fiber, meaning they are highly satiating and therefore, you’re unlikely to over-consume them.

6. Don’t allow hunger to become extreme

Intermittent fasting is a useful tool but it’s not magic, and it’s not for everyone. You need to find what works for you. If you can happily skip breakfast and have lunch as your first meal, go for it. But, if trying to fast leads you to overeat later in the day, then don’t do it! I can’t believe I have to say this, but I do. Again, it’s not magic, it’s just one method. – if it doesn’t work for you, try a different method.

Spreading your meals evenly throughout the day can help to keep you hunger levels under control, and prevent you falling into the Not-Quite Cycle™, or restricting to the point where you end up overeating.

7. Consult your future self

This is a psychological technique called episodic future-thinking. It involves removing yourself from the present moment, and thinking about how this decision is going to affect you in the future. 

Remember your goals, the reasons why you’re dieting, and the hard work you’ve put in so far. Ask yourself this question: “would my future self thank me for the decision I’m about to make?”

If you’re following the 6 previous strategies, then your cravings will be more like an occasional whisper, rather than a persistent chatter. Consulting your future self can allow you to look at the big picture, and make the right decision for you.

Here’s a quick recap of the eight strategies to manage your appetite:

Remove temptation from your environment

Separate eating from other activities

Stop snacking

Limit hyper-palatable foods

Priorities minimally-processed whole foods

Don’t allow hunger to become too extreme

Consult your future self

Manage your stress and sleep

Following this advice could be the difference between reaching your goals or not. Read it, understand it, implement it. Words mean nothing if you don’t put it into action. So, give yourself a checklist of action points to take away from this article, and it could change your life for the better.

A Personal Trainer Can Help With Disasters of Resolution Failures in 5 Simple Ways...

A Personal Trainer Can Help With Disasters of Resolution Failures in 5 Simple Ways…

Posted on by Clarissa Thomas

It’s almost the end of the year, so within the next couple of weeks most of us will be making our resolutions for next year. Even as a personal trainer and health coach I make them too!

personal training can help you reach your new year's goals
making personal goals with a coach

As of this month I’ve been coaching for seven years. 

At the studios, the studios are usually packed every January first with people with New Year’s resolutions. Then, by the middle to the end of January the studio dies down to back to normal numbers with a few new faces continuing on, but lots gone. 

What happens during those first 2 or 3 weeks of January?

Why is it so hard to stick to our New Year’s resolutions especially with fitness?

It is estimated that over 95% of us fail at our New Year’s resolutions. By fail I mean, failing = giving up. 

Here are the top 5 reasons why we fail at our fitness resolutions.

1. Overwhelm: we overload ourselves with too many resolutions. We have fitness goals, nutrition goals, financial goals, relationship goals, we have goals for our spouse and even for our kids. We simply can’t handle that many serious goals.

Studies show that when we try to take on more than one life-changing goal at a time our success rate is near nil. We simply don’t have the necessary will power and energy to focus on more than one at a time.

Fortunately, willpower is like a muscle, it gets stronger as we use it But it also is finite. Overload it and you’ll run out too fast as well. 

Solution: simplify and commit to one big goal. Once that goal becomes a habit and it doesn’t take so much energy and will power to complete, then you can start working on a different resolution.

2. Lack of a plan: When one creates a resolution without a plan they lack direction and step to get there. Just like those with fitness goals going into a gym for their first time; walking around not knowing what to do next. There was no order or direction to their workout. The workout was purely left to chance.

The cardio deck, however, is always packed. This happens for a couple of reasons. One, it’s the default form of exercise especially for those that don’t feel comfortable lifting weights. And, I get it. It’s a lot easier figuring out how to set up the treadmill than designing a strength training workout and figuring out lifting technique.

And, reason number two, many people still falsely believe cardio to be the best form of exercise for fat loss despite dozens of studies pointing out how ineffective it is and that it is often counterproductive (people can actually get fatter from doing cardio). I see this in the studios a lot when women who have worked out for months complain that their body hasn’t changed even though they are working out so hard doing all these cardio classes. 

Solution: hire a trainer to set you up on a program, or at the worst find a program online that targets the same goal you have and then watch some YouTube videos to learn technique.

3. Unrealistic expectations: We live in an extremely fast paced world. We can cue up any movie or TV show and watch it at any time. We can literally order anything in the world and have it shipped to us “next day “. We’re impatient, we want our perfect body and we want it yesterday.

Setting unrealistic goals is a dead end road. Instead of a goal being motivating, the goal becomes demoralizing and shame full. Week in and week out we beat ourselves up because we’re not hitting our numbers. So, of course, after a few weeks of that we’re gonna throw in the towel.

Solution: Hire a trainer. With their experience they can guide you to realistic expectations. Also, when setting a goal ask yourself how confident are you that you can accomplish it. If you’re not 90-100% confident that you can do it then modify it to the point that you are at least 90% confident.

Another part of being realistic is to expect plateaus. Nobody gets consistent progress week in and week out. There will be setbacks. Accept this fact and the road accomplishing your new year’s resolution will be a lot more enjoyable.

4. Skipping the goal setting process: “If you fail to plan, plan to fail.”

When talking to my clients about goals we talk about 3 types of goals: outcome goals, behavioral goals and purpose goals. When we first meet we will talk about these three types of goals. 

At bare minimum you need to decide “what” it is that you’re trying to accomplish and then commit it to paper.

A goal gives you direction and writing it down helps hold you accountable while motivating you at the same time.

“An arrow without a target always hits its mark.” If you have vague goals your results will be vague as well.

So.. get super specific with your goals and review them daily.

Solution: carve out 20 minutes to visualize your goals and commit them in detail to paper. Then, review them daily. Remember to keep them simple and break them down #1 and #2 from above. 

5. No accountability: Personal accountability is an oxymoron. By definition, you can not hold yourself accountable. There has to be a second person involved, a second person to which you report. Otherwise, it’s human nature to slack.

Accountability is the number one thing new clients ask me to do for them. It is usually why they hire me as their trainer or coach. 

They want me to make sure they make it to their workouts and follow through with their nutrition goals.

Even without a trainer, studies have shown that just having a workout buddy can make a positive difference on consistency with your fitness goals.

Solution: hire a trainer to hold you accountable or at the very least find a buddy to hit the gym with and report to each other on your nutrition.

I teach my clients to make things effortless. Then they don’t have to think about winning, it is already set up for them. So for you, almost all of these five mistakes can be resolved by enlisting the help of a trainer or coach.

I believe this is a life lesson that crosses over to all aspects of life.

If you want to improve your golf swing, hire a golf pro.

If you want to get out of debt and prepare for retirement, hire a financial planner.

If you want to start a new business, hire a business coach.

The point is you don’t have to recreate the wheel with your fitness. An experienced trainer has “been there, done that” and they can get you to your goal in the shortest time possible.

Speaking of hiring a personal trainer or coach, I’d love to be yours. 

It fixes all of the above mistakes and you’ll create the lifestyle that you envision for a healthy, happy life. 

You will get world class training, nutrition coaching and accountability. And right now, I am offering a discounted rate going into the new year. 

Follow this link to learn more. But hurry because my training and coaching spots fill in so fast. 

Coach with me!

Stay Fit

The Tuning Forks

The Tuning Forks

Posted on by Clarissa Thomas

There’s a quote that says it takes four weeks for you to see a difference, 8 weeks for close friends to see a difference, and 12 weeks for the rest of the world to see a difference. This quote hones in on something that’s been on my mind.

a health coach can help you hold a high vibration

About 150% of the time (no kidding) when I have a health coaching client who is doing really well they hit an interesting roadblock. The roadblock comes because when you make changes and others notice, others think that it is now their job to give you input about this change. Usually the input comes when we change because others become uncomfortable because they liked the old you or behaviors, or because they are curious towards your success and they want the same for themselves.

What usually happens with my clients though is that they do great until people start making comments and then, when people start making comments, it makes them uncomfortable and these clients have a revert to past behaviors to soothe this discomfort. So as a health coach, working with my female clients, we have to start learning how to be uncomfortable with other people being uncomfortable and voicing that discomfort. 

I don’t know if you know about a tuning fork, but when you use a tuning fork on, let’s say, a rock and hit it, the tuning fork will play a vibration/note according to that rock. If you were to take a second tuning fork and hit another rock that second tuning fork would play the note of that second rock. Now this is where things get interesting. If both of those tuning forks are playing those notes/vibrations at the same time eventually the one tuning fork will change its note to match the other tuning fork. And then they will play together.

What does this have to do with health?

When you make changes in your health you are changing your vibration. It may have been low but you have raised it with new habits and applied knowledge. You could have lost 10 pounds or are cleaning up your diet. You could have been going to the gym when you used to be very sedentary. When you hold that vibration long enough other people will notice that your vibration is different. 

Everybody else in the world also holds a vibration. You could also call it a vibe or energy. When two vibrations meet and they are not on the same note, one vibration will need to change to meet the other in order to soothe the dissonance. 

So the question is, who is going to change their vibration? And the second question is, how long can one hold out for the other to change?

It is a lot easier for those who are trying out a new vibration in life like becoming more healthy to drop down into their previous vibration. An example of this could be when a mom goes to wake up their kids in the morning. The mom’s happy to see her kids but her kids wake up ornery. She has tried to change her vibration by being happy but their vibration is low. So what happens? The mom drops her vibration to the kids’ vibration and starts yelling at them instead to get out of bed.

So what would have happened if the mom would have kept up her vibration? Well after a certain couple of minutes when the kids have really woken up they will probably raise their vibration to be happy and then they will continue on their morning in a happy positive way.

Here are some personal examples, because these vibration dissonances are happening all the time in our lives:

When I started my health journey I started having a protein shake everyday. My husband gave me a hard time at first saying how gross it looked, and continued in his own vibration of old habits. I held onto my new habit, and about five years later, he had a protein shake.He’s had one almost every day since.

On the flip side of that I was trying to level up my eating game this past year and went on a family vacation with my extended family. When we got to our destination together, the first meal that was offered was not something that was on my meal plan. I was so tired and worn out from traveling, and even though I knew it wasn’t on plan. I ate that meal. It caused a domino effect. The whole trip ended up with me moving back to expected vibrations because I was weak and dropped mine one time. That’s all it took. One time. I dropped my vibration down to what it used to be in many ways besides just my meal plan – from moods, to comments, to birth order roles and expectations. I’m sure you can relate to this. I am not proud of that vacation this past year.  

Even after a couple of months since the trip, I don’t look at that vacation very fondly. I wasn’t true to myself and I didn’t keep promises to myself. I also didn’t hold off long enough for my family to raise their vibration because I was scared of what they would think of me or the comments that they would make. 

I didn’t remember, but I want you to remember that when others comment about you, it is a direct reflection of them, not you. It is their noticing your vibration has changed and they feel that dissonance. It is their way of trying to regain control of the feelings they are having. 

When you get to that point in your health journey of people making comments, be it family, friends, neighbors, etc, check into your vibration. Ask yourself if you would like to drop your vibration back down to where others will feel comfortable and your habits were the ones that didn’t get you to a good place, or would you like to keep your new vibration long enough for others to meet your vibration and for you to continue to feel proud of the work you’ve done? 

That is what you are in control of. Hold that vibration. 

What are ways to keep that vibration strong? 

Honestly, I see the greatest strength come in numbers. Accountability with friends or a coach like me is a great way to hold strong. I meet with my clients to coach once a week and then also have check-ins. But my clients can text me anytime if it is an emergency. That is part of why you need a coach. That cheerleader and coach rooting you on and keeping your high vibration with you. Friends or other family can also do this for you, but tend to also be emotionally bias, so beware of that. 

Second is to be honest with those around you. Don’t skirt about the issue. It isn’t their cooking! And even if it was, you are working with your body and mind to level up. When we state out loud what we are working on, we gain strength from new places. It is empowering.

Third, feel free to take some time. Sometimes I need to excuse myself to the bathroom to take a quick minute to check my intentions and habits. You could retreat to your room and do some breathing exercises. Putting space between the action and reaction is helpful. This time also helps you stay present and mindful. 

As we head into holidays there will be lots of people who have worked really hard to change their vibration. They have new habits and new lifestyles and maybe a new shape that they are taking back to old energies. Does the term “falling off the bandwagon” ring a bell? That is losing your new vibration and dropping down to expected old ones. 

If you really don’t want to come out of the holidays like that, consider setting up a free consultation with me and see if we are a good fit to coach together. I want health for you in body + mind. I am ready for you to take on this new vibration and can be that strength you need as you learn a new lifestyle and go through the learning process 🙂 

Fill out the form linked below to get the coaching ball rolling. Those holidays are barreling in fast.

Yes! I want to hold a high vibe!

The Tom Brady Syndrome

The Tom Brady Syndrome

Posted on by Clarissa Thomas

In my personal life I have been studying a lot about loss. In the next couple months I have some big changes coming up in my life as I have known it. I have felt such angst and stress about choosing these changes and implementing them that they have caused a lack of sleep and an inability to function well as a mother and coach. 

For one thing, these future changes are my choice instead of something that is forced and two, I have never really done well with change. whenever we would go on an extended break or Holiday from school like Christmas, the first week back of school I would always get sick. This happened a lot in college. When the semesters changed and my routine needed to change, my body would get some sort of cold or flu, and I’d be down for the count and miss days of school. Even though I’m not in school now, whenever there are big changes or big events in my life or family life, I ramp up to them and then afterwards I get sick either mentally or physically. 

On a side note, doesn’t this example show that our mental state can affect our physical state. More to come on those thoughts in an article soon. 

So with me loving routine these changes have been ridiculously difficult to fathom and make. Therefore I have taken it to some of the doctors that I work with to talk to them about which changes and how much change I need to be able to heal and balance that with keeping myself mentally happy.  I love where I’m at right now, but I recognize that some change is good and change will allow me to grow but also heal some health issues I am experiencing. 

As I have talked with professionals about these changes my therapist brought to light a syndrome that we want to call the Tom Brady syndrome. It’s something I want to share with you today because it rang so true and felt was easily relatable. 

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training the mind

I’m going to assume that you know who Tom Brady is and if you don’t go and Google him. In a very short sentence he, being an amazing football player, retired from football and after a short time unretired from football and went back into the game.

As a top football player and a high-performance achiever I can only understand why he went back to football. He loves the dopamine rush and the 100% for filament that he gets from winning a game and being the top performer in his industry and Sport. One can only understand that retiring from that was a severe loss for him and probably caused mental sadness and emotions that he wasn’t used to having because he was so used to all the good emotions that he experienced while playing football and winning.

Interestingly enough, what has happened since he has gone back to the game are also interesting losses. his wife and he have gotten a divorce. His wife was his biggest fan and was a key contributor to his success as a football player. For example, she monitored every little bit of food that went into his mouth so that he was fueled properly and also was in charge of making sure he had boundaries so he could recover.Something else that has happened since coming back to the game, he’s losing.

So I want to discuss 3 points about the Tom Brady syndrome that you can see in what Tom Brady is going through right now.

The Tank

The first point is called the tank. The tank is where a professional is at the top of their career and due to age, injury, circumstances or other professionals coming into the same industry, etc, this professional starts to tank in their success rate and is not at the top of their game or career anymore. 

With Tom Brady coming back out of retirement and losing all of these games is showing that he is starting to tank.

So the question for you is: should Tom Brady finish his career of football at the high or should he continue in football as he tanks and finish at a low? What do you think that would do to his mental health as well as the story that people will tell about him for years to come?

The next question there would be where are you at and your career? Do you think you have reached your Peak do you think you still have room to grow or do you think you are in the tank?

 I have noticed in my personal Journey that due to the injuries and health problems I’m experiencing, I am in the tank. I have not been able to give what I used to be able to give and it has been discouraging and sad. I appreciated the advice that I received to not tank fully and exit at the low but to exit at the high.Honestly I think when we exit at a high we can look back with fond memories and there is closure.

The Acceptance

The second point is called acceptance. The acceptance is the concept that after we leave or turn away from our original trajectory and goal we might experience loss in the manner that whatever we do instead might not be as fulfilling as the thing we did first.

For Tom Brady, he probably should go out and buy a football team. That’s the closest thing that he could do to recreate the happiness that he experienced as the football player. However he probably will only be able to receive 90% of his fulfillment back compared to the 100% that he might have gotten as a player himself. That is part of loss.

It is good for us to recognize that in Los we may not be able to get back to the hundred percent fulfillment that we had. Very rarely will somebody experience  something that is better than what they were originally doing when they were at the top of their game.

If you are aware of this you would be grasping for straws and probably looking outside of yourself for inner peace. Just like Tom Brady coming back out of retirement. He probably couldn’t find something that would fulfill him just as much as playing football did and he didn’t know how to handle that and sit with that. Then he has the consequence of losing his wife now because he chose to come back out of retirement and that is not what she wanted or was told would happen.

For me, I don’t know what is coming next after my changes but I do appreciate this concept. I used to dance ballroom at BYU and competed professionally and was doing very well. I stopped dancing because my body could not get pregnant due to how much physical work I was putting in to dance every day. When I stopped I experienced a severe depression for a long time. For years I couldn’t even watch the progress of my fellow dancers because I knew where I “should have been” in the dance world. I don’t think anything I have done in the dance realm since has been as fulfilling as being a competitor on the dance floor and winning. It still hurts 13 years later and now having an understanding that fulfillment might not reach capacity has helped me release the pain because of those expectations being replaced with acceptance.

The Vacuum

The final concept of the Tom Brady syndrome is the vacuum. And on a side note, I’m grateful for spell check, because I still don’t know how to spell vacuum without help. LOL. 

The vacuum is where when you take something out of your life it will put a force into the universe that will pull something new into that empty space.

Tom Brady had a really big empty space because he had a very big, successful, Limelight career. Again oh, he didn’t have the tools nor the patience to wait for something else to come along to fill that space.

Along with that I feel like if we understand that there will be a vacuum we can be looking for opportunities and we can recognize that some opportunities will be good ones and some will be bad ones or destructive ones that will not help us. 

When covid shut my job down as a group fitness instructor there was a big loss there. I was tumbled into this space that created a vacuum and needed to be filled. Some of the things that filled that space were good and I’ll talk about those in a second, but some of them were not so good. I didn’t eat well. I lost a lot of my discipline and my hope for the future. In fact, I think that I am still recovering from what that vacuum brought to me and what I chose. Now like I said, some of those opportunities were good ones. I ended up taking clients virtually during covid and really laid a good foundation to be a personal trainer and nutrition coach online. if it weren’t for covid and that loss I would not have had that space replaced.

Right now I don’t know what is going to fill the space from the loss that I am going to incur in the next couple of months. I was feeling anxious about that. There are a lot of what-ifs. But I am finding that because of the awareness that there is a vacuum I am handling the unknown a lot better. In fact, there’s a part of me that is really looking forward to what might open up for me in opportunities that are constructive and helpful to me and the next season of My Life.

So finishing up, let’s review the Tom Brady syndrome. The Tom Brady syndrome has three main facets. The first facet is the tank, the second is the acceptance, And the third is the vacuum.

Maybe you can look back on a couple of your losses and think about these three aspects. Then, being aware of these three aspects when you go into a new loss, which will happen because we are all mortal and human, maybe, because you have awareness of them you will be able to more gracefully and strongly handle your next loss in a way that will help you come out of that more refined and better. 

At least that is my hope because I am seeing that work in my own life.

Sit Down You're Rocking the Boat

Sit Down You’re Rocking the Boat

Posted on by Clarissa Thomas

One of my favorite summer events is taking a boat out to the middle of a lake, turning it off, and just sunning on the back bench. I love the feeling of the boat gently rocking in the waves, the hot, sun-warmed vinyl from beneath my body, and the intensity of the Utah sun beating down from above. 

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Photo by Ahmed Zayan

Can you relate to this peaceful feeling? 

Unfortunately, this moment of peace always has an ending. 

I remember at a lake here in Utah we had stopped the boat. After resting for a while I sat up only to find our boat was mere feet from a rocky shoreline. From past experiences (*cough cough*), I knew the boat, being that close to the shore, was in a red zone. It was going to be a huge risk to start the motor and the propeller without a rock mangling it and therefore hindering our ability to get to the dock. We were in a bad place. 

It took a lot of effort and teamwork to get the boat away from the rocks, start it up on a prayer, and head away from danger. 

I’ve thought about this experience a lot and have really built a beautiful analogy from it relating to whole health that I want to offer you today. 

As humans, we are wired for the desire to find and accrue peace. Those moments of weightless peace on the boat? Yeah, we seek that out constantly. Effortlessness that comes easy. Haven’t you heard so many people say, “it seems so easy for ‘so and so’ to lose weight,” or, “stay constant,” or, “be able to eat anything they want and not gain weight.”

So we are searching for those moments where we can turn off the boat and relax in the Sun so to speak, but if we do that we tend to slowly drift towards red zones. For example, if I don’t track the foods that I eat I have a tendency to just take one bite or just one more piece of chocolate and the next thing I know after a couple days or weeks, I have lost complete control of my healthy eating. Same thing goes with missing exercise or your journal and meditation for the day.

The effort it takes to get away from that red zone is a lot and usually cannot be completed without members of a team in your boat. Now I’ll come back to your team in a second but I want to point that out. In your help red zones what does it take to get out of that zone? In my example it could be that I go through my kitchen and throw out everything that could cause me to overeat; or it could look like menu planning for the week and then putting that into an app.

Once you pull away enough from that Red Zone you can turn on the motor and really make some progress ( this might look like those first initial 5 lb that you lose or the ability to work out 5 days or 6 days in a week). The next question would be where are you headed next? That new destination is just like when we make goals.

When We choose to make goals we choose to move into the neighborhood of success and failure. Success and failure live next to each other. How does this relate to our boat?

It seems to me that when I have been on a boat heading for a destination it never fails that there’s some sort of friction that comes upon me. It’s to be expected. That friction could look like waves, other boats, wind, rocks, not quite knowing where we’re going, or even disagreement within my boat. But it is bound to happen.

When you make a goal you Essentially turn on the motor of your boat and head towards that goal. Those obstacles and frictions that come up will come up because you are trying to go somewhere. They make you work harder than just floating with the motor off. Sometimes you might lose sight of your goal. But if you are headed in the right direction with the right behaviors you will resurface so to speak and find her goal again.

Ironically enough when I’m talking to my clients I find that when we set a goal we tend to expect that it will be effortless or it is effortless while we turn our boat around and get it started in the first 10-15 ft but then after that it becomes harder.

But it is the friction actually allows us to make progress. If our boat was in the air in the prop was going at full speed you wouldn’t go anywhere. We need that water we need those waves in order to get us movement.

Now onto the next idea that I wanted to come back 2 was about the crew in your boat. Who do you want in your boat? Who will get you or help get you to your destination safely, more efficiently?  either out of their previous experience or their skill set to help you man the boat. we want a good team on our side..

Two weeks ago when I talked to my client about this exact analogy I asked her who she wanted in her boat. She talked about her husband who supported her unconditionally in her goals. She talked about having me as her coach in the boat. And then she also talked about a woman who is a friend that she looks up to. So it wasn’t necessarily somebody who had skills but it was somebody she aspired to be like and be friends with; who could give her courage when the waters got rough.

In your boat it could look like a doctor, it could look like a therapist, family, friends, colleagues, boss, a lady down the street, somebody who always has your back, or somebody who can help you think rationally as well.

We could continue to find parallels with this analogy, so if you discover one for yourself, consider sharing it below. However, to come full circle with the final points of this analogy…

  1. We tend to go easy and want to turn off our boats, but when we do we drift without control into Red zones.
  2. When we make goals we essentially are turning on the motor of our boat and we will need friction in order to make progress.
  3. The crew inside your boat will make or break your ability to reach your mile marker goal

So my question to you today is: What areas of your health are you floating with the motor off and, unbeknownst to you, heading for a red zone? 

As a personal trainer, nutrition coach, and behavioral help coach I get in the boat with you. I help you have awareness of where you are on the lake and, As you make help goals, help you know how to navigate the friction will be ahead. We work together to be able to man your boat. 

If this is something that has sparked some thoughtfulness in you, consider sharing it with a friend or family member and consider setting up a free consultation with me to see if we will be the right crew together to reach your new destination. I’d be honored to work with you. 

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20 BODY & MIND TOOLS TO OVERCOME ANXIETY

20 BODY & MIND TOOLS TO OVERCOME ANXIETY

Posted on by Clarissa Thomas

These tools are taken from Emiliya Zhivotovskaya. I first heard of these while I was mowing my lawn and had to stop, run in the house and spent the next 30 minutes writing furiously to take notes of each of these tools. Then I found them on her site, much better explained and written out. You can learn more from the website below.

I find that I like the body ones and then can move on to the mind tools. With all my studies on anxiety, I felt this finally helped a more broad population, like me, that feels anxiety really fast and really hard.

https://theflourishingcenter.com/20tools/

The following is written by: Emiliya Zhivotovskaya but simplified slightly for reading purposes.

BODY TOOLS:

1. EXERCISE

There are thousands of research studies that support the impact of exercise in completing the stress cycle.  Engaging your muscles use up the chemicals that your body releases. A 2014 study by Wegner et al., aggregated data of over 37 meta-analyses and research on 42,264 people and identified that exercise made a significant impact on  anxiety.

Cardiovascular exercise like running is great as our evolutionary ancestors were often running from something when they were anxious.  But, if you don’t have anywhere to run to escape the tiger in your mind, exercises such as progressive muscle relaxation can work too. Tense all of your muscles and hold for a slow count of ten and then relaxing.

2. TOUCH

Whether you’re petting an animal or receiving a hug… touch releases oxytocin.  This feel good chemical is responsible for bonding, connection and a sense of trust. 

3. SELF-HAVENING

Havening is a psycho-sensory therapy that utilizes physical touch to down-regulate the nervous system. 

4. BUTTERFLY TAP

This is one of my favorite techniques for creating calm utilizing bilateral stimulation of the brain. This is the use of visual, auditory, or tactile external stimuli occurring in a rhythmic side-to-side pattern which if frequently used as a core element of eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy.

5. TAPPING & EFT

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also known as tapping, is a novel treatment of stress related conditions using a step by step process of self-stimulating acupressure points throughout the body while repeating a statement. While research on EFT is in it’s infancy, the data is promising and the self-reported uses and impact is strong, including this research summary Medical News Today which offers the EFT steps, along with a summary of the most recent research.

6. FORWARD FOLDING

Benefit from the impact of gravity on blood flow to slow your beating heart with forward fold poses. Consider some of these simple possess for 5-7 breathes.  Inhale and fill your body with breath. Exhale slowly and mindfully ease into the stretch.

7. SING, CHANT OR HUM

The vagus nerve passes through by the vocal cords and the inner ear and the vibrations of humming is a free and easy way to influence your nervous system states.  In particular, chanting the sound “OM” or anything with a “mmm” sound stimulates the vagus nerve as it is connected to the vocal cords. Consider the bumble breathe (bhramari), it’s one of my favorites. The first time I ever did bhramari in yoga class, was also the first time I had ever experienced a “silent mind.” (Even though it only lasted 2 seconds :-).

8. WATER THERAPY

As water flows, the crashing of water particles creates negative ions which when inhaled and felt on our skin has been shown to lift mood and decrease stress.  And what’s better than listening to the sound of running water? Getting in!  A 2018 study by Goto and colleagues examined the impact of showering versus bathing on the well-being of 38 participants. They found that while both are beneficial, bathing led to significantly lower stress, tension-anxiety, anger-hostility, and depression-dejection.  According to the authors, “Immersion bathing, but not shower bathing, exerts hyperthermic action that induces increased blood flow and metabolic waste elimination, which may afford physical refreshment. Immersion bathing should improve both physical and emotional aspects of quality of life.”

9. BREATHING

Breathing is the only autonomic function that you have direct control over. Every inhale stimulates your sympathetic nervous system, your body’s gas pedal. Every exhale stimulates your parasympathetic nervous system. Use these techniques to  drive the car of your body.  To decrease the experience of anxiety and stress, make your exhale longer than your inhale.  To stimulate the body, make your inhale significantly longer than you’re exhale. To relax the body, make your exhale significantly longer than your inhale.

The simplest and safest way to start is to notice your breath and count what a natural breath cycle feels like.  Then try to match the length of your inhale and exhale. Then, to create calm, keep breathing with your inhale count the same but slowly extend your exhale count until the exhale is twice as long as your inhale.

Here are the many ways that breathing impacts your mind-body health:

10. SOFT BELLY BREATHING

The vagus nerve is one of the primary nerves of the relaxation response. It innervates the most in the stomach region. When you practice abdominal breathing you slow the breath down and relax the muscles around your stomach, you further stimulate the vagus nerve.  

MIND TOOLS:

1. CATCH THE CHATTER

Set a timer to go off. When it does, write down your thoughts. Knowing what types of thoughts you’re working with will give you greater mastery over the process below. You may notice that there are a handful of core worries that you have and everything else is on loop.

2. TALKBACK TO THE THOUGHTS 

Reminder yourself that you are not your thoughts. You are not worried. You are you, having the experience of worry. Reperceiving is defined as the ability to “disidentify from the contents of consciousness (i.e., one’s thoughts) and view moment-by-moment experience with greater clarity and objectivity” (Shapiro et al., 2006, p. 377).  Mindfully witnessing your thoughts helps you separate yourself from the thinker.

3. THANK YOUR PROTECTIVE BRAIN

Instead of wrestling your thoughts, recognize that they are trying to protect you. Appreciate your worrying mind doesn’tWhamean you have to give in to the thoughts. Remember that worrying interrupts long-term problem solving. If there is actual threat, then what you need is problem solving and action. Worry makes you want to run away instead of leaning and doing something about it.

4. MANAGE YOUR “WHAT IFS”

Your neo-cortex is the human, rational thinking part of your brain. It is the part of your brain that has the capacity to use reason and logic to make decisions about the future. Your emotional limbic system in your brain, is the part of our brain that is wired for survival. In a relaxed state, the emotional brain is aware of “what is happening” and the rational brain is capable of planning into the future of “what will happen” with “what if” scenarios. When you’re in threat mode your worrying brain decides it should be responsible for “What Iffing”. It does so with worst case scenario thoughts and makes you think it’s real. Remember, the emotional brain treats the “what ifs” as though they are happening now.

5. DESIGNATE WORRY TIME

Setting aside time to worry creates a container. I suggest picking a daily time and writing for at least 15-20 minutes. Most people find they max out around 5-10 minutes. Then when you’re brain offers worries at other times throughout the day, remind it that it can wait till the next time. 

6. “I’VE HANDLED IT BEFORE. I’LL HANDLE IT.”

7. WORST CASE, BEST CASE, MOST LIKELY

Check out the step-by-step process at GoZen.com

8. MINDFULNESS

9. 5 SENSES & NOUNS

10. CERTAINTY ANCHORS

Check out Jonathan Field’s description of the Certainty Anchors and how to use them to find calm in a stormy world. Use these anchors to center you and calm the brain. Create rituals that bring meaning to the simple actions of day to day life.

Don't Be the Mantle Piece

Don’t Be the Mantle Piece

Posted on by Clarissa Thomas
art from improb.com

While working out today I listened to a podcast (what’s new) about art. The speaker was talking about how much art/visuals influence our lives and our perceptions about reality. 

He talked about how that can be good or bad for us. But something particular struck me and then shifted my whole perspective on what he was saying. Hear me out and I will link below to the podcast if you want to listen to it. 

He talked about how we portray events in art as our mind pictures them and not what really happened. That this can then distort others idea of what really happened. He specifically talks about President Washington praying in Heisman Trophy stance (you know what I am talking about) and how there isn’t really evidence that he even prayed at all… just that he relied on God. Not a bad thing to portray but maybe not the truthful moment. 

So the speaker then talked about how most art that is painted is “mantle worthy.” That art is made to show the glorious and romanticism so that good feelings are evoked. So the artist in the podcast took on a particular challenge of painting non-mantle pieces. That there is SO much “messy middle” (to quote Brene Brown) that we don’t see. That because we don’t see the messy middle, as humans, we get the notion that we should be experiencing the glorious big. But in reality 99% of the time, there is no BIG and clear, there is mess and muck and perseverance and struggle. 

While this was being talked about, I felt a very strong impression that I needed to create a place where there is not mantle worthy work. That I needed to show the real, the messy, the struggle. 

As I was making my bed yesterday (about the ONLY thing in life I am consistent with 99% of the time, promise), I was crying because I am SO tired of trying to reach goals I see others have set as successful marks and not reaching them.. That I am tired of not loving who I am already (inside and out) and always trying for more. “What a waste of my life” was my thought. I am tired of not being enough. I am tired of feeling like I have to be perfect to share me because then I am not sharing at all. 

My therapist told me the other month that I will never be enough. (It was a shock and kind of painful to hear actually). But he explained that because I am human, these flaws won’t ever go away, meaning I won’t ever be mantle worthy. So why am I trying to live in perfection? Ugh, so true and now I am working hard to shift that paradigm by questioning and being vulnerable. 

Do I really want to be placed on a mantle to gather dust and have all admire me? Honestly, sometimes the answer is yes. It seems like that would be a fantastic resting place and admiration feels good. Also, it is what our society consistently and bombarding shows as success. But most of the time, no I don’t want to be left on the mantle. I LOVE the struggle. I love being among and with others in it, not above or beyond. I love showing people that life is given to LIVE and grow and struggle, not to rest. Gotta fight that mentality we are so often portrayed and told about. 

So this is going to become the place, mixed with articles on how to create health of course, but I want to show how there is no arrival upon the mantle… for any of us.

This will be hard for me! This may be hard for you! I go through some pretty traumatic things with my mental illness. You are welcome to skip those posts, but someday you may come in contact with someone who needs to know they aren’t alone in the messy middle and you can point them to my mess and they can then know how to find the beauty in their own.

The podcast I was listening to is below. Please know that it is Christain based and shares religious views but can be wonderful for all to listen to.

Listen Here

#31 - Applying the Thought Model

#31 – Applying the Thought Model

Posted on by Clarissa Thomas

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Last episode, #30, we introduced you to the Thought Model CTFAR as seen here:

You will want to listen to that episode before hitting this one so you know about the ins and outs of each of the 5 areas in the model. Because in this episode we work on how to apply this model and then change it to get the results in your life.

We’d love to dive deeper with you into this model. We offer a 30 min no pressure mini coaching session to anyone interested in changing their thoughts to get better results! Click below to sign up and get contacted on how and when.

#30 - Rewrite Your Thoughts

#30 – Rewrite Your Thoughts

Posted on by Clarissa Thomas

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Looking for specific results in your life or getting results you aren’t satisfied with? You’ll definitely want to listen to this podcast. We are discussing the model from Brooke Castillo that I use in my coaching. It truly is the magic sauce to every problem or result you want to have. CTFAR for the WIN! Listen to learn more.

We talk about an emotion wheel during this cast. Click below to get the free download. Like I said in the podcast, I love to use this to decode what I am really feeling and I use it for my kids too!

Thank you for listening. Because of you, we keep this podcast up and running. We would love to know what you think about the podcast and you can share that with us below in the comments.

#29 - Fence Posts

#29 – Fence Posts

Posted on by Clarissa Thomas

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Image result for fence

Along with the last episode we add another tool for you to help create and live a life you love. Today we are talking about fence posts. Want to know how this all ties in? Give it a listen below.

We love conversation and comments, and personally respond to each one I receive. I would love to know about my listeners and why you are listening. Drop me a comment where and how you are listening.

And if you want more of what we offer to increase your tools to manage and see life, sign up for our weekly wisdom right on our homepage. Click below!